There's a vault toilet at Oak Springs, which is a poop deck with worse ventilation and better graffiti. It has seen things. Bring your own paper, trust no one, light a match for the next sailor.
What if I fall out of the raft?
That's not falling out, that's an unscheduled baptism. Feet downstream, nose up, and your crewmates will haul you in by whatever's grabbable - yes, including the seat of your swim trunks. Free wedgie, rescue included, dignity sold separately.
Will the water be cold?
Cold enough to file it under "shrinkage-related incidents we don't discuss at dinner." Your body will file a complaint and then thank you.
Can I bring my plus one?
Plus 1 through plus 100. The river is big and the rafts hold more complaints than people.
What happens if I don't RSVP by July 31?
Middle seat. Smallest paddle. First shift on dishes. Last pick of pancakes. The mercy dries up faster than your swim trunks won't.
Is the trip kid-friendly?
Extremely. Kids ran the show last year. The adults are merely the propulsion system, snack dispensary, and cautionary tale.
What does "high-side!" mean?
It means throw your body at the high side of the raft RIGHT NOW and ask questions later. It is the only order on this trip that isn't a suggestion. Everything else - including bedtime - is a suggestion.
Dress code?
Sun-safe up top, swim-ready below, and whatever crimes-against-fashion river hat you own. Crocs in sport mode are formal wear here.
🛶 Paddles Up - RSVP
RSVP by July 31. Plus-ones welcome - plus 1 through plus 100. Point positive, paddle hard, and get your name on the list.